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REDNECK: 32 Redneck's What do you get when there are 32 RedNecks in a room? A full set of teeth! Hillbilly Birth Deep in the back woods of Tennessee, a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing!." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there", said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there's another one coming." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" said the doctor. In a few minutes he had delivered a third baby. "No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor. The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?" How to Circumsise a Redneck How do you circumsise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw! Letter to Redneck Son Dear Redneck Son; I’m writing this letter slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read inthe newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles fromyour home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you the address because the lastArkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when theymoved so that they wouldn’t have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I’mnot sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in andpulled the chain and haven’t seen them since. The weather isn’t bad here. It only rained twice last week; thefirst time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanleysaid it would be to heavy to send in the mail with the buttonson, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were reallyworried because it took him two hours to get me and yourfather out. Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven’t found outwhat it is yet so I don’t know if your an aunt or an uncle. Thebaby looks just like your brother.... Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried topull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drowned. Wehad him cremated and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck.Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety.Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because theycouldn’t get the tailgate down. There isn’t much more news at this time. Nothing much hashappened. Love, Mom P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope wasalready sealed. You know you are a redneck if You know you are a redneck if your knife is sharper than you! You know your a redneck if.. You know your a redneck if you go to your family reunion looking for a wife! You Know Your a Redneck You know your a redneck if the jack-o-lantern on your porch has more teeth than you do! This page contains 7 of 7 matching records. Back to Giggle Land |